Funny Pee — Stories

He didn't see her inside. For 45 minutes.

Well, let's just say Matt got a two-for-one deal that night.

Sarah says she spent the first 10 minutes laughing, the next 10 minutes pleading into the emergency phone, and the final 15 minutes doing a complex internal calculus involving whether her designer shoes were waterproof. When the fire department finally pried the doors open, she was sitting in the corner, having sacrificed her reusable grocery bag to the cause. funny pee stories

She looked the firefighter dead in the eye and said, “It’s a spa treatment. Don’t ask.” Mark from Ohio shared a story that straddles the line between tragedy and vigilante justice. He was stuck on a customer service call with a cable company. After 40 minutes of hold music, he was desperate. He told the operator, "Please, just put me on hold for two more minutes, I'll be right back."

As Mark tried to explain the laws of human anatomy to a script-reading robot, the operator kept asking for his account number. Mark finally snapped. "I am going to pee on my phone," he said calmly. "And then I am going to mail it to your CEO." He didn't see her inside

The mom whispered (loudly), "She has to go potty, honey."

Unfortunately, the lid opened directly into the back of her knees as she was squatting. She lost her balance, grabbed the towel rack, and the entire fixture came off the wall. She landed in the bathtub—empty, thank god—but the shock made her laugh, and laughing made her lose the battle. Sarah says she spent the first 10 minutes

He didn't. But the sudden absurdity of the threat made the operator laugh so hard she hung up. Mark didn’t make it to the bathroom. He considers it a win. There is no purer test of a relationship than a road trip with a small bladder. The "Never Trust a Construction Zone" Rule Jen and her husband were driving through rural Montana. The sign said: "Next Rest Area: 47 Miles." Jen said, "I can make it." She lied.